Working on a Sunday.
September 18th, 2016
My day, in a nutshell.
12:30 AM: woke up for some foolish reason, not sure why. Attempted to drift off to sleep once more, which took longer than I would've liked, thanks to head static.
4:30 AM: alarm went off for the first time. As I am wont to do, I hit the snooze button and passed out again.
4:40 AM: alarm went off for the second time. As I am wont to do, even though I know better and am vaguely more conscious this time around, I hit the snooze button and passed out again.
4:50 AM: alarm went off for the third time. Finally lurched off of the couch and went to go take a shower, though I remembered that I had to feed the Crawford, lest he begin to starve and consume Brenda while I'm out of the house. Went to go do that, then remembered that I had left his food in the living room, so I trundled back out there and grabbed it. Having forgotten I'd just filled the container up again, I dropped it once or twice.
Rabbit food apparently has the density of neutronium.
4:55 AM: finally got into the shower. Basked in the hot water a bit too long, but it's Sunday so it's not like I'll be in any trouble at work if I'm 'late', so I didn't really stress that too much.
5:15 AM: hauled my carcass out of the shower and got dressed. I had apparently neglected to assemble an ensemble to wear for the day, so I had to root around in the dark to find underwear and socks and a shirt and the shorts I'd abandoned somewhere on the floor the night before. It's Sunday, I don't have to wear fresh laundry. Don't judge me. I said don't judge me!
5:35 AM: lumbered out of the house and into my car, for the long drive to work. Had to dodge one deer and one old lady who thought the I-70 was some kind of slalom course and not, you know, a highway. I would've given her the finger but she looked like she was ninety, and with those rollers in her hair, she reminded me of my great grandmother, towards whom rude gestures were unwise. She'd break those fingers right off.
6:00 AM: arrived at the Speedway next to where I work, grabbed a Red Bull ™ to induce functionality for the morning. I know I'm inhaling far too much caffeine right now, but I ain't go time to kick the habit, so it will keep for now. Also grabbed one 'giant' 'deli style' Slim Jim ™ which combined with the Red Bull ™ turned my burps into the fumes vented from an aging landfill.
6:10 AM: clocked in a few minutes later than I would have liked, since I'll have to make them up later, but whatever. Sat down, read my insipid work e mail, apparently blanked out for five minutes, and then sidled downstairs to get to work in the dungeon. I've been covering for someone down there all week, so I figured I may as well get a bit more work down there sorted out before I actually work on my own business.
I'm unsupervised, so I guess my call is the best call. Who's gonna disagree? Who's here to disagree?
8:10 AM: being barely conscious, and having had no one to bother me for a while, I actually managed to get a staggering amount of work done over the last two hours.
8:30 AM: brain started up, thus the static did as well. Found myself thinking about my old cat, Ollie, and became inconsolable for a while, since watching too many episodes of Dr. Pol apparently convinced me I could have done something to keep that twenty year old critter alive, somehow. Since he passed back while Bush 2 was president, I'm not sure why this hit me so hard today, but what can you do?
9:00 AM: being useless at this point, I opted to go ahead and hit the break room, what with it being my break time. Being that it's Sunday, I can take my break any time I feel like, really, but I'm sticking to the norm right now, since it seems necessary to keep myself on track.
9:30 AM: break went long, whoops. But I made enough progress so far that that's not a big deal. Slunk back downstairs as if I were guilty of something, even though no one's here to accuse me of... well, anything, really. I guess I could be running around naked, and as long as I dodged the security guard on his hourly patrol, nobody would know. Except you, now that this mental image is wedged into your head meat.
You're welcome.
12:30 PM: went out to lunch, since I'm working on a Sunday. Thought one of those ridiculously expensive 'power protein' burritos from Taco Bell ™ would hit the spot, but it only had like eight pieces of steak in it. And considering how small Taco Bell ™ steak chunks are, you can imagine how unfulfilling this thing was. If you're going to try and imitate Chipotle ™, you should at least avoid doing such a shitty job, people.
1:00 PM: finished lunch, and then resumed working, even though I was still hungry. I worried that was because I indulged in a Nutty Bar earlier, due to my self-loathing on my first break, but then I remembered how sparse the meat on that burrito was. Considered another Nutty Bar, because I'm a horrible person, so what's the point in taking care of myself, anyway?
1:30 PM: took my second break. Pondered running away from work. Forever.
1:45 PM: went back to work, spent a lot of time not accomplishing all that much, save for beating myself up over everything I've done the last twenty years. Because my brain won't shut the Hell up when I'm trying to concentrate.
3:30 PM: took my third break. Pondered becoming a carnie, but I ultimately decided against it, because I'm not all that into heroin. Needles, you know.
3:45 PM: went back to work yet again, accomplished literally nothing, save for apparently crushing my balls. Felt like they'd been kicked around a tad.
5:30 PM: took my fourth break. Tried to work on my second to last outstanding nerd project overhaul, but my brains were oozing out my ears at this point. Yes, brains. Because apparently there's a whole lot of people up in my head, and none of them seem to want to play ball with each other. Not quite different personalities, mind you, but voices. Pulling me twenty different directions at any given moment.
I'm sure the Scientologists would have something to say about that.
5:45 PM: went back to work for the last time, though 'work' is something of a misnomer at this point. Considered picking fights with people online, but my heart just wasn't in it today. Perhaps tomorrow!
6:30 PM: left work, flipped it off with both fingers as I walked away. Because they deserved it.
6:35 PM: arrived at the Speedway to take care of a thing. Lottery tickets aren't a good retirement plan, but they amuse me when I randomly win enough to pay for, well, more lottery tickets.
7:15 PM: got home, finally, after dodging tractor trailers driven by speed addicts who are too busy texting to safely operate their eighteen ton vehicles. Hung out with Brenda and Crawford for two hours, then proceeded to pass out on the couch.
11:15 PM: woke up for some reason, but my alarm wasn't screaming at me, so I let myself pass out again. Didn't even have to hit snooze this time!