Overenthusiastic yet somehow unmotivated: the stoner.
April 20th, 2016
I hate stoners. I mean I really, really hate stoners. I hate stoners even more than I hate hippies, in fact. Yeah, I know that's hard to reconcile when you consider the fact that I currently live in the stoner capital of Ohio, but that's about the size of it. It's not the fact that stoners get stoned all the time. Heck, if I could get away with it, I'd be smoking it, too. I like dope.
I just tire of people who, apparently because they smoke weed, feel the need to base their entire persona around that fact. I like pizza, for crying out loud, but you don't see me bringing it up in every single conversation, or reeking of pizza whenever I roam around town. Which is probably a good thing, considering how many stoners seem to have the munchies when we're roaming around town.
I think what irks me the most is the stoners who proclaim how they're such fiercely independent souls, and yet constantly go on about how it's 4:20. That's right, kids, we're such free spirits that we're all going to get high at the exact same time. Woo, nonconformity! This is normally irritating enough, I suppose, but the worst of it comes around on this date, April 20th. You know, 4/20.
I opened up my Twitter feed this morning to find it inundated with references to dope. We've already established that you're high twenty percent of the time you're conscious, no need to bring it up again, kids. We get it, we really do. It's days like this that remind me that the Europeans list their dates in the superior fashion. I.E., because there's never a 4/20. Only a 20/4.
If we did it that way, I wouldn't have to hear about International Toke Up Day (or whatever) every April.