Crawford requires treats.
January 3rd, 2016
I am overwhelmingly distressed that I have not won the lottery. Or discovered that I am some sort of royalty, and that I have a massive trust fund just waiting for me. Or that I haven't inherited a ludicrous amount of money from a filthy rich relative that I didn't know I had, who's lovingly watched my life from far, far afar. Or at least have a job that pays something resembling a living wage.
Me and Crawford here (you don't know Crawford yet, but I'll probably go on about him at length, soon) loathe the notion of having to go to work. Luckily for Crawford, he's spoiled rotten and doesn't have to do much of anything, really, except amuse me in an effort to get me to dispense some snack or another in his general direction. He is lazy, though, and wants to perform a decreasing amount of tricks for treats.
I, on the other hand, have to heave my carcass in to work tomorrow, and have to be there by 6 AM. EST, no less. Having generally dealt with evening or night shifts for a majority of my working life, I find the idea of getting up at 4:30 abhorrent. And yet this keeps happening, weekday after weekday, this eleven day weekend notwithstanding. Not a big xxx-mas person any longer, but it's nice to get the paid time off.
I imagine that I could get out of this predicament if I could just find a way to make lots of money whilst working from home. I got to do that a few years ago, and working in naught but pajama pants is something I cannot recommend highly enough. The only time I had to actually get dressed was when I was depressingly low on burritos, and would reluctantly get clothed and trundle off to the nearby Taco Bell ™.
Ah, good times. Who knows, maybe if I get off my ass and write one of those books that's been floating around in my head for the last twenty years, I could do that again. This, assuming, that I could convince some foolish fool to actually pay for the words leaking out of my brain. Well, not these words, since I'm giving these away for free. As some sort of free trial, maybe? But you know what I mean.
I think. I'm not sure I do at this point. It requires more Red Bull ™ to English at you.