So I have a beggar stalker. Or stalker beggar?
April 22nd, 2014
I seem to have a problem with beggars.
Well, not beggars in general, but a specific beggar, whom I have now encountered four (count 'em) times. The first was at the Speedway gas station, located in what we'll charmingly call Crime Central. It's at the intersection of two interstates, three highways, and I think another interstate thrown in down the road a tad for good measure. Look up the Dayton Mall on Google Maps sometime, and you'll see what I'm talking about.
But anyway, the beggar. This guy comes shambling up to me one day and is like, MY WIFE IS PREGNANT AND I NEED TO GET HER TO THE HOSPITAL LIKE RIGHT AWAY BUT I DON'T HAVE GAS MONEY TO GET HER TO THE HOSPITAL IN MY CAR BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY GAS SO CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME MONEY FOR GAS BECAUSE I REALLY NEED SOME GAS MAN.
I shit you not, he basically screamed this run-on sentence at me while I'm trying to put gas in my car. I'm like, no.
This may sound mean, but I looked around and didn't see a pregnant lady in his car, or any other car, or in the Speedway, or anywhere else nearby. And besides, it's not like I have money on me. Most of what I make goes for my half of the family bills, and the other uh, few dollars goes towards gas and the regular dose of caffeine required to keep me afloat during the day. I'm allowed that vice, thank you very much.
So this guy goes on to badger everyone else at Crime Central the same way. And I mean everyone. The gas station, as always when it's not 5 AM, was super busy. And he kept it up until one of the Speedway people came out and shooed him away, as I guess they have to do with homeless people and crackheads and other assorted customer botherers since it's like the crossroads of the United States of Meth or somesuch.
I'm seriously not joking on this score.
Anyway, so I generally forgot about this until over a half year later, when the same guy comes ambling up to me at the same Speedway with the same way too loud, rambling story. And I'm like, aren't you the same guy who asked me the same thing like eight months ago? How pregnant is your wife, anyway? Is she toting around a hippopotamus in there, or what? He looked confused a bit, and then drifted away.
So fast forward to last year, I'm shuffling out of the apartment building at 4:45 in the morning, this being in Eastern Standard Time, mind you, and this same motherfucker comes running at me from across the street, gibbering like a crazy person. Now, I'm not exactly the most coherent person myself at this time of morning, but come running at me screaming at this time of day and you set off my 'stab you in the face' response.
I didn't actually talk to him but I think the look I gave even him the hint.
I don't even know for sure what the guy said, but fuck it if I'm going to tolerate some random crazy person screaming and running at me when all I'm trying to do is get to work when it's not even five in the damn morning yet. So yeah, in case you weren't sure, I didn't give this guy any money. Again. Because he's at my fucking house and badgering me this time. In some states, this is 'stand your ground' territory.
So fast forward to today. It's five in the damn morning and I made the error of stopping at the Crime Central Speedway instead of McDonalds on the way to work, to get a glass of iced tea to help me survive the morning. And surprise fucking surprise, this guy tears up to the gas pump next to me and is like asking for money again. Apparently he doesn't remember me, but I sure as fuck remember him.
To his credit, this winner at least came up with a different story.
THE TEMP AGENCY GAVE ME A JOB IN CINCINNATI AND I NEED TO GET TO CINCINNATI BUT I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH GAS TO GET TO CINCINNATI AND I'M GOING TO LOSE MY JOB IF I DON'T MAKE IT ON TIME CAN I HAVE FIVE BUCKS FOR GAS MAN? Even if I were inclined to give this dogfucker gas money, I know for a fact the temp agency he likely worked for, if this was true, would've given him a ride.
I know this because I worked for them while laid off previously, trying to get money for, you know, reasons. And every time I was like 'I would love to do that horrid job but don't have gas' they would actually offer to pick my dumb ass up and take me to whatever craphole was paying them a ludicrous amount of money to supply disposable labor for the day. Because that's their bread and butter.
So that's how I knew he was full of shit.
I mean I knew he was in general, since the clown was tweaking and seems inordinately desperate for 'five bucks' each time he hits me up for money, but still. I like to think of myself as someone who is happy to truly help someone who is truly in need if they needed it, but not some shitbag junkie who can't keep it together enough to work for his fix. Hell, I have to, so why shouldn't he?
Inability to function like an adult aside, anyway.