Hate Mail!
July 5th 2010
When I first put together this web site, way back in 2008 or whatever, I set up an e mail address in the event that anyone had anything to say to me about anything. I have, until three days ago, received a grand total of two e mails on this address, one of which was from some Brazilian fellow wanting me to sell the domain to him, because his friends kept going to my site instead of his, which was this or something.
That is, until July 3rd.
Apparently I have attracted the attention of a Master Communicator. I present to you, in total, a missive from William Stanley, who you can talk to at this address. His literary masterpiece is as follows (not altered in the slightest):
You really need psychological help. Your rantings which you think are genius are really insane. You talk as if you know and understand something yet they are weak assumptions with misinfo you have obtained. I look forward to meeting someday. I guess when you are unemployed you have nothing better to do. you know chris...or whatever your name is you unemployed loser. I would rather be underestimated than overestimated. chris or whatever your name is.I wonder if you even know anymore. Things in life come around quickly now days.I would love to meet and chat sometime or maybe a good debate. nah...that's probably not your style.
Ah, where to start. To begin with, I never take a critique serious when someone can't be bothered to actually convey a simple idea. I'm reading a series of unconnected sentences here, seemingly intent on berating me but unable to actually focus on one thing in particular. It's like the ravings of a drunken hobo, one who so desperately wants to be listened to yet can't actually articulate what he wants to say.
Secondly, it's clear that this functional retard didn't bother to actually think about raving at me for more than six seconds before doing so. William Stanley repeatedly identifies me as 'chris' (note the lower case 'C') while if he'd have followed one of but three links on the top (and bottom) of this site, he could've easily learned what my name actually is. And of course seen a lovable image of myself.
I would say I, too, look forward to meeting you someday, William Stanley, but I know that will never happen. While I do not hide behind the seeming anonymity of the Internets, you seem to be trying to. Even though your Yahoo! profile would indicate that you are also living in Dayton, Ohio, and that you are either lying about your twenty one years of age, or have had a Yahoo! e mail account since you were nine years old.
Clowns like you are all bluster over the Internets, but you tend to clam up when called upon it. Even in your own misbegotten ravings, you back down from the idea after you yourself bring it up. But that's okay, William Stanley of Dayton, Ohio, age indeterminate, I understand your fear. Actually having someone call you on your own boobery is scary for a lot of Internets trolls.
The only question I have is why you felt the need to gibber at me in the first place. While I do have a posh position as an Examiner for the Dayton area, I don't actually link to this site from that one. The only person from Dayton who knows about it and has bad blood towards me is the mentally deranged owner of a nearby comic book shop that took exception to my negative review of his store's shitty service.
I wonder if 'William Stanley' is a mere sock puppet for said store owner. Or perhaps he's one of the anti-intellectual Palinites that I deride on a regular basis. Or maybe - just maybe - he's one of the Catholic pedophiles I mock at every opportunity. Ooh - I've got it! You're the guy who stole my chair out of the dumpster, aren't you?
None of the above would surprise me, given your incoherence.
But I digress.
I thank you for a good laugh, William Stanley of Dayton, Ohio. And since you're so concerned about my job status, rest assured that I actually have one again. Since it seems to occupy most of your waking thoughts about myself, that's one less thing you need concern yourself with. I simply hadn't bothered to mention it on the site yet, because I've been somewhat busy of late. You know, having a life.
May you find one some day.