Creation... Museum?
March 15, 2009
So one of the things I have noted over the last few posts is that sometimes it takes me a while to actually get on with the process of rambling about shit that has happened to me in the past. Sure, a lot of my posts here relate to the 'here and now' as in, something inexplicable happened to me the night before, and now I'm going to share events of the bizarre variety with you 'cause hey, I can!
On the other hand, sometimes shit will percolate in my brain for a bit, or I just happen to have a day that's so full of weird that it takes a bit to go on and on about it, which is kind of what happened last Saturday. No, not yesterday, but the Saturday before this one. On the motherfucking 7th, you tool (and yeah, I spent that entire day rambling about dickity dick dick reviews and terrible chips.)
I could focus on the here and now but... why? I am temporally challenged, if you haven't figured that out by now, in that I tend to think in four dimensions on occasion. Or as things tend to happen, something else is fresh on the surface of my brain and I have to get that out of the way first before I can go on about other things. Which is odd, really, because a lot of things went down Saturday.
A whole lot.
Nothing bad, mind you, but a lot of things. See, the 7th was someone's birthday, as I've noted, and as such we spent a lot of time tooling around the tri-state area doing a lot of stuff together. Did I say tri-state? Yes I did. See, to start with, as you can see by the second photo here, we left Ohio in its entirety, driving thirty or so odd miles in order to get to (you guessed it) Kentucky.
And they say our school systems don't teach you guys how to read.
But you may find yourself asking, 'But Denny, you explained the second photograph, but not the first! Just where is that crowd of brainwashed looking happy campers going?' To this, I refer you to photograph number three, which should explain it all. That's right, not only did we head into Kentucky, thereby crossing the border from vaguely sane territory into whack-job land, but we went to the Creation Museum.
Now you may be finding yourself with a whole lot more questions at this point, such as 'wtf?' or 'You, there?" Now to this question (the second, at least), I have to say yes, me, there. And it wasn't my idea, no. The idea was to 'surprise' me by taking me there. We were originally headed somewhere else entirely, but this happened to be on the way. And someone thought, 'won't this be a hoot?'
And it was! We drove in past all the dinosaurs that were presumably stuffed onto an Ark for preservation (or not, since we don't see dinosaurs about these days), and poked around a bit. We decided to reserve our time and not actually go in for the time being, because a) we didn't have all day to mock the poor Jesus toasties, and b) adults were twenty one dollars each, and we both said whoa whoa whoa.
That's the kind of money that could go to much better purpose if spent on gambling and/or booze (and it was; which is of course another story for another day - yes, once again, I leave you hanging.) So balking at being photographed at the entrance and being preserved on their wall or in their secret Jesus-y database forever we backed out and made our escape. Though I must say it was the slowest escape on record.
We had to wait for two guys who thought they were air traffic controllers to wave us out, and then get by Smokey the Mother Fucking Bear who thought that he was a good use of Kentucky tax payer dollars there, guiding traffic to and fro. It was a good time, though I have to say if I lived in Kentucky, I'd be motherfucking LIVID that so much of my tax money went to propping up that bizarre thing.
And then ask for my Darwin Museum to be built across the street.