So this is Ohio.
February 13, 2009
So I have been asked, 'Yes, you live in Ohio, but... where exactly?' Well, to answer this question, I bequeath unto thee this very big hint. It's a small town, on the periphery of Dayton proper, though 'small' is something of a misnomer; if I can get lost in it, it's not a 'town' per se, so much as something like a 'huge ass suburb'. Or 'minor city in its own right'. That sort of thing.
I took this striking blue photo whilst I was starting out my regimen of working out again yesterday. Well, 'working out' may also be a misnomer; having spent months being operated on and mostly immobile last year, I've sort of lost most of my stamina, and now I'm trying to recover it. So instead of 'work out', plug in 'wheezing like an old man after jogging/walking for about forty minutes or so'.
It's sad. I have apparently fallen apart since the surgeries, physically speaking. I mean I feel okay, but egad extended exertion seems to kick my ass. So I'm going to try and get out there again every day and perhaps recover some of my oomph. That way I don't blow a blood vessel somewhere just trying to take out the trash or move things around the place here. Wheeze Wheeze.
While I was doing my walk to get the blood moving (and apparently to make my legs all wobbly), I couldn't help but notice this sign here. The photo turned out to be pretty crummy (apologies) but it amused me. I was looking down in the dirt and leaves and saw that I could be crushed at a moment's notice by some sort of moving gate. Apparently one secreted within all the leaves on the ground below me.
So I got to wondering. How many traps are there laying about here in Miamisburg to hobble the unwary with crushed ribs? I have no idea, of course, but I figure if there's death traps littered all about, it can't be that bad a town. I know I'd love to litter my lair with death traps to catch unwary jerkoffs walking their tiny little yip dogs by our porch. Maybe a spike-filled hole with sod on top?
I could even put up a clever sign. Perhaps hot dogs skewered by spikes. 'Death Trap Here - Please Avoid'. Of course with people being goons like they are, they'd probably wander closer to make sure they're actually reading what they think they're reading (you know, like I did with the crushy gate sign there). And then before you know it I have to dispose of yet more corpses. Sigh.