Shit Canned ™
November 12, 2008
So as it turns out, McCain was not, in fact, correct about the 'fundamentals of the economy being strong'. If he was, I imagine, i would not have been 'downsized', along with everyone at the Omaha branch of our major metropolitan security company. Yep, 400-ish folks, given notice that since the company is in dire straits, they'll be laid off in one fell swoop. Hope you don't rely on a security system to feel safe.
It's quite likely the company you're using to protect you is going to be critically understaffed within sixty days, and the people they do manage to hire to replace us that do manage to not break and quit within five minutes of being exposed to the obnoxious, spoiled turds of America that think we should wipe their ass in addition to watching their home - they'll be critically inexperienced.
Even better, if they're lying to us like I think they are, 90% of your Emergency Dispatch Operators are going to eventually be residents of Ulaanbaatar or something; good luck translating Mongolian. So, as a note to Criminal America: wait till early next year and the 'response time' you'll have to deal with with the authorities will be a whole lot less of an issue. That's right, kids - 2009 is the year of the burglar.
Watch out - they may steal your alarm systems, too!
Sure I have some time to get my affairs in order, but the company I've been busting my ass for for the last three years has discarded me, and all of the other people that didn't melt upon being exposed to the Fucking Spoiled Rotten and Impressively Inept American Unwashed Masses, like so much contaminated waste. And people wonder why individuals like me have zero (0) faith in the human race.
You fuckers have made this mess, and now I have to ride it out. Yes, it's your fault. You voted for the motherfuckers that have put the current conditions into place, and then allow the same fuckers to convince you that a) they're not at fault, and b) the people you just voted in to replace them were magically at fault in defiance of basic principles of causality. Well fuck you, humans. Fuck you in your kidney.
And in case you're wondering, no, I do not group myself in your little club, you chittering monkeys. I'm better than you, and not just because I have superfluous organs that make superior and inherently more virile. But because I have the rare ability to, on occasion, actually look at a situation before me and read between the lines, and see which parts are real and which parts are utter bullshit.
Critical Thinking: live it, love it. Or I'll stab you and fuck your kidneys out. The dick is mostly functional, so that threat is now valid again. Bitches.
So why this specific, pointed bile, you may ask? Well the truth is it's not really specific. This situation has made me angry at everyone. Everyone. I mean if you consider 'homo sapiens' specific then it is, but I just have an overwhelming urge to ask people who they voted for and, if I don't like the answer, to stomp on their genitals until they squeal for mercy. And to then do it some more for good measure.
This because I fucking hate job hunting. I loathe it with a singular passion, the whole whoring oneself out to companies, though not really companies so much as self-entitled cockwhore 'human resources' personnel who feel they're so fucking important that they have to have an entire lobbying group and support organization to convince other people that they're not privileged enough.
So yeah. If you are a 'human resources' operative, just die. I want you to pour gasoline all over your body, light a match, and run around in a circle until your nerves and muscles fail due to being burned beyond fucking recognition. And I warn you useless motherfucks. Most heartily. In the coming domain of Marduk, burning you will be required. And those bad ass Marduk freaks aren't talking about doing it in effigy.
What's this about Marduk, you ask? Oh... wait and see, human. Wait and see...