Death of the Tea Party Exchange

August 20th, 2010

There are many burdens I bear. Perhaps the hardest burden of all that I carry deep within my blackened, cynical heart is the fact that I'm usually right about certain things. I have a gift, a gift for seeing how the future will play out in certain matters. For example, it seems just nine days ago I was going on about companies foolishly pushing their politics on their customers, and the hijinks that invariable ensue.

Well, it looks like another prediction of mine came true. You see, some time last week the Tea Party Exchange announced its grand opening here in Dayton, Ohio - a sort of test bed for a deal where, by paying the guy running it a lot of money, you get the privilege of donating five percent of a sale that someone uses their 'Tea Party Exchange' card on to the local Tea Party. And maybe a nice wall plaque or something?

These broke ass links to their sites should tell you how it worked out for them.

But wait, I have another link for you. You really need to read this before proceeding.

Douche Baggery.

See, this is what happens when you trust anyone who works in 'human resources'. Not only did he take a $150 dollar fee to enroll each business in his right-winger scheme, but Donald Hutchinson outsourced the creation of his Tea Party web site to India. This cockhole hates America so much that he couldn't even be bothered to spend donations to his 'movement' right here in Fucking America.

But wait, it gets better. It seems that some of the businesses he roped into his bullshit scheme don't even know what the Tea Party is. I refer, of course, to Patti Ballachino's comments in the link at TPM, where she says she signed up with the plan because even though she didn't know what the Tea Party was, she thought it would make her money. So really, you can't blame this Hutchinson clown - he's just taking a page from PT Barnum.

After all, if you're so fucking stupid that you're willing to put your business on the line for a political party that you don't even know about, Patti Ballachino, maybe you don't deserve to stay in business. I know I won't be sending any business Patti's way, because I'm afraid that if I take any of my fine clothing to Reiber Cleaners, which she owns, her fucking stupid might rub off on it.

I laugh and I laugh, because I totally saw this coming. I am a prognosticator, I tell you. There's a reason that people like Stop Beck do the things they do - they're tired of all this extremism nonsense. I've said it time and time again, this country likes to sit in the middle ground. When you push hard one direction, the American people will push back - it's the nature of our freedom-loving mob.

So when a bunch of idiotic Dayton businesses decide to push their extremist Tea Party bullshit on their customers, I (successfully) predicted what was going to happen to them (you can see the responses people had to some of these businesses in that article, there). But in case you're not done torturing these assholes for trying to push their politics on you, here's the list of businesses who decided to participate in this mess.

For all the fucking good it did them.

We know at the very least we'll never do business with McAfee Heating and Air Conditioning. He seems happy to publicly speak at rallies for a party that claims to merely advocate financial conservatism, but has instead shown time and time again just how backwards and bigoted they really are. You may call it 'trampling on your freedoms', but we call it 'voting with our dollar', douche bags.

No matter what you claim, that's what America is all about.

firebomb@obnoxiousjerk.com