Revised Master Plan.

September 16, 2008

So I'm sitting here in my slightly broken chair and basically coming down from my workout today, this being the last in my first week of Pushing It Beyond Reason. Somehow I have not died, and it would appear my heart rate is not going quite so madcap at the end of my Terrible Treadmill Torture. So that's a bonus, 'cause what does not kill me will make me that much sexier.

You know you want a piece of this.

I'm actually having trouble seeing, though, because I have not been sleeping properly again, but not due to any chicanery on my end, though. The simple truth is I have been trying and failing to realign my sleep for long periods of time. But today I have managed to avoid napping despite having only one half an hour of sleep and the stabby eye pain in both eyes - so having worked out has wiped me.

But the moral of the story is that I've done it. I've actually started sticking to my plan of metered self-improvement. Every day I'm trying to do at least something to Make Things Better, and attain the ultimate goal of being on my Island. Of course I now have me an interim goal. See, I've got to thinking that once I'm out of debt, and have my business running, I can really do the work anywhere.

Well, anywhere I can get internet access. And expanding on that, with a powerful internet-capable phone and a mobile computery device with which I can operate Firefox and Notepad ++, I can really engage in the web site marketing anywhere in the country. So I was thinking once my affairs are in order, I may become a sort of Marketing Hobo, wandering from town to town, going on adventures and working all the while.

After thirty five (almost) years of growing tap roots out my ass here in Omaha, the notion has appeal. I mean, I could grow to hate people in other parts of the country, not just in Jesusville. Even more than I already do, thanks to my three-ish years as an alarm dispatch guy for a nationwide service. I'm looking at you, New Jersey. I hope you can feel the HATE RAYS coming from my brain at you.

Die, die, die.

But keeping that in mind, here's my Mark One Design for Web Marketing Man Dot Com. I'm sure you won't like my ultrasimplified design, but the idea here is to make something that a) loads fucking fast, and b) makes the search engines queue up to give it a circle jerk. I have blanks to fill in of course; I have to market it before I can make it live. And finish the text.

But I am working on it. Not sitting idle with my thumb up mah butt. This will of course help me to get out of the Debt, as everything I make from the Web Marketing Man Dot Com will be 'bonus' money, which is above and beyond what I'm already paying to settle all my many and various medical and technical price tags of Calamity. I am also going to do minor bits of work on this site too.

The design is not moving and/or changing. However I'll be adding a page or two for convenience, and rejiggering the links up top. The idea is to add an 'archive' of single-article links; basically using the text pages as one-offs instead of the rolling ramble the main thrust of the site makes use of. I'm keeping the 'default' page as is, mind you; I just wanted a second option for stability.

That way engines may archive my horrible stupid rants and I can add a link function to the imagery device saying where said image comes from; I included a deal that lets one cycle through all the images in a given category, but without a reference some of the pictures may not make sense. Hell, even with a reference they may not, but I figure that's added convenience for you, my three fans.

Though I may underestimate your ranks, I am apparently number eleven on Google for 'banality'. Which is cool, as I'm not using the word much. Except when talking about my placement. Banality banality banality banality banality.

But I just felt like updating this thing 'cause I'm actually enjoying my progress. And strangely happy. And curiously motivated. And not wanting to kill anyone - at least not this week. It's one of those strange confluences of Weird that seems perfectly timed, so I was running with it. So I apologize for having no bile today, I seem to have left that in my other pants. Wait, was that bile?

firebomb@obnoxiousjerk.com